October 19, 2004

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October 19, 2004

Post by kiri »

Welcome to the Barren Realms MUD Newsletter:

Visit us at telnet://barren.coredcs.com:8000/
or our web site at http://www.barrenrealmsmud.com/

IDEAS - Reply!

Havoc: reduce the lag time for shield and stone skin

AMystery: be able to drink from severed limbs. where does all that blood go when you chop it off?
i bet if you picked it up you could suck out a drink or two of fresh blood. lets change limbs to be both food and
drink, or randomly be one or the other when cre

Spilf: when someone heros.. it should say so and so heroed.. some simple messgae ,, then 10 min after he heros the
xp should be dooubled.. like u earn 500 xp.. and 500 bouns xp.. etc

Morbo: I think that there should be a form of transporation that allows one to go underwater. Perhaps using this device
the person wouldn't be subject to being tripped. I think people would use this to go to the Deep Sea and other areas
that are too annoying. I think people would use this to go to the Deep Sea and other areas that are too annoying to
explore in.

Morbo: I think it would be dandy if there were a 'sell all' command. Not, to sell everything in your inventory.
But, to say, 'sell all.longsword' if you have a lot of them.

Tripp: make teleport be able to have more then one key word to help narrow down witch mob you go to
Reply by Everybody:

Havoc: get rid of melting eq from acid blast, it is completely lame!

Acid blast does not melt eq. Acid breath, on the other hand, does. The damage description associated with the two
is actually very similar, as well.

Acid blast:
Your acid blast mauls a citizen!

Acid breath:
Your blast of acid mauls a citizen!

It's unlikely we'll change the breath spells to not melt eq, as that's simply a hazard of fighting those certain mobs.


kiri's WWW of URLs:

Tom is a furry photosynthetic device for turning cat biscuits into more Tom.


Mt. St. Helen's live lavacam


We are a camera


Scary Bunnies

http://home.pacbell.net/bettychu/2003al ... s/BIS.html


Exam Answers

Please note the GCSE's are public exams taken by 13 year olds in UK

This is an indication of the wonderful future that awaits the UK.... the level of answers in GCSE exams!

This is a compilation of actual student GCSE answers...

1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics.They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

2. The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible,Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children,Cain, asked, "Am I my brother's son?"

3. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.

4. Solomom had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.

5. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.

6. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.

7. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.

8. In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java.

9. Eventually, the Romans conquered the Greeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long.

10. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus."

11. Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his subjects by playing the fiddle to them.

12. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was cannonized by Bernard Shaw. Finally Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice for the same offense.

13. In midevil times most people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the futile ages was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also wrote literature.

14. Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son's head.

15. Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah."

16. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. And Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.

17. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies,comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet.

18. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.

19. During the Renaissance America began. Christopher Columbus was a great navigator who discovered America while cursing about the Atlantic. His ships were called the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Fe.

20. Later, the Pilgrims crossed the ocean, and this was called Pilgrim's Progress. The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the settlers. Many people died and many babies were born. Captain John Smith was responsible for all this.

21. One of the causes of the Revolutionary War was the English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post without stamps. Finally the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backwards and declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand.". Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.

22. Soon the Constitution of the United States was adopted to secure domestic hostility. Under the constitution the people enjoyed the right to keep bare arms.

23. Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. The believed assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposedly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.

24. Meanwhile in Europe, the enlightenment was a reasonable time. Voltaire invented electricity and also wrote a book called Candy.

25. Gravity was invented by Issac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the autumn when the apples are falling off the trees.

26. Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German half Italian and half English. He was very large.

27. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.

28. The French Revolution was accomplished before it happened and catapulted into Napoleon. Napoleon wanted an heir to inherit his power, but since Josephine was a baroness, she couldn't have any children.

29. The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is In the East and the sun sets in the West.

30. Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years. She was a moral woman who practiced virtue. Her death was the final event which ended her reign.

31. The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of river to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men.

32. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species. Madman Curie discovered radio. And Karl Marx became one of the Marx brothers.

33. The First World War, caused by the assignation of the Arch-Duck by an anahist, ushered in a new error in the anals of human history.
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Post by Stars »

Note to self:

Do NOT read funny stuff when in a public computer lab!

Those exam answers could not possibly be real...
The stars brightly shine upon our world, a constant reminder of our origin. We are stars.
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Post by Everybody »

I've seen many of them before, in a compilation called "42 BC and all that," which was (theoretically) compiled from years and years of bits taken from students' (I believe middle- or high-school aged) essays and papers. (Oh, it's funnier, too, if you can believe it.) Given that that was on a printed page, while this is circulating by e-mail/internet, I'm more willing to give credence to the first.
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Post by Slart »

Kiri wrote:Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.

Finally Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice for the same offense.

Bach died from 1750 to the present.

Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.

Her death was the final event which ended her reign.

Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.
...and in other news, Generalissimo Francisco Franco is also still dead. Now, here's a special report from Weekend Update correspondent Roseanne Roseannadanna...
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