February 22, 2004

This is where you can read the newsletters on the forum. Any replies are fair game to be put in the real thing.
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kiri
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February 22, 2004

Post by kiri »

Welcome to the Barren Realms MUD Newsletter for February 22. 2004.

Come visit us at telnet://barren.coredcs.com:8000/

And our website at http://www.barrenrealmsmud.com/

----------------------------------------

As many of you have noticed, the Realms have been a little dead lately. I think this has to do with people's school schedules, but I'd like us to do something about it!

First off, I have a banner for anyone who would like to advertise us on their websites. Please email me and I will send it to you.

Secondly, please review us on http://www.topmudsites.com/cgi-bin/revi ... Realms+MUD as often as possible.

Thirdly, TELL YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT US! If necessary, sit next to them at the computer to get them interested. ;)

--------------------------------
IDEAS -- feel free to respond:

Firebreeder: aggie mobs still attack you if you are inside a tent, thats just not right

Firebreeder: the grocer should sell tents that hold ALOT more then regular tents, maybe a family sized tent, one that holds like 5 people, or 3000 weight, that would be alot better, but make it weigh 300

Firebreeder: make is so that when you level, you get a restore, even if an imm isnt online

Smeagain: ignoring people should prevent battle/hinfo messages corresponding to that person too...although, i'd be happy with anyway of stopping hinfo and battle messages from avatars who are going after sigon eq etc ;)

Firebreeder: perhaps the hangman could be moved to calathar, i know its not that big of a hassle to go north, but it would be better, imo, if he were in calathar

Firebreeder: can we make chin kang palm ALOT more powerful as a scaling spell instead of a crappy one like it is?

Firebreeder: could we also lower the chicken kick roundhouse lag to maybe say 4 rounds instead of 6?

Firebreeder: perhaps we could take cure serious off of humans since medicine IS cure serious

Firebreeder: could quivering palm be lowered on the level humans get it, i mean seriously, elves get drain energy WAY earlier then humans get QP

Seifer: show how much money you have in the bank when you bring up "Status"

Slishy: it might be nice if one could purchase dispel magic at clericus. maybe not really needed, but nice :)

---------------------------------------
Responses to previous ideas by Baltar:

> IDEAS:
>
> AMystery: I was just thinking about rebalancing. If there was an =
> equation that controlled how hard a mob was=20
> based on a level range, we could have mobs that balance more exactly =
> with the players level, so a perfect=20
> match would be just that. so one algorithm p

Ah, but how do you take into account whether the player is wearing better
equipment? Or using skills, or casting spells? The CONsider command
looks only at level. (This, incidentally, is why crummy little level 10
mobs can still kick the stuffing out of your level 49 character right
after you get killed, when you have no equipment and no mana, even though
CONsider still tells you you can kill 'em "with ease"...)

I suppose the algorithm must assume some sort of average power for every
character of every level, regardless of actual race or equipment. I
imagine it would be mind-bogglingly difficult to customize mobs to match
an individual player's actual abilities. (What if some player isn't so
good at casting fireball? Or didn't enhance hit points for many levels?
Or doesn't use ZMud aliases? Or...you get the idea.)

> Sasarai: An ability or a spell that lets you have vision enough to scan =
> when its raining

That would sure be nice. Since Avians are supposed to have such good
vision -- and since they're a little light on the skills anyway --
maybe they should get it. Call it "improved scan" or something.
> Sasarai: An ability or a spell that lets you have vision enough
> to scan when its raining
>
> Oversoul: there should be a written version of the calathar map
> for blind players. the "help map" is too difficult for them to read
>
> Calvis: update on the help rumors, these are helpful...but as new
> areas are put in and changes ...so should rumors :)
>
> Owain: when a container is burnt the nonflamible objects should
> appear on the ground instead of being destoryed
>
> Calvis: alignment power based spells example : Dispel Evil more
> effective the higher your align

Wow! A first! Every single idea in the newsletter is one with which I
wholeheartedly agree! (Unless they're too hard to code, of course.)

Baltar

> Star Wars v's Star Trek
>
> TOP TEN REASONS WHY THE STAR WARS CHARACTERS WOULD KICK BUTT IN THE STAR =
> TREK UNIVERSE
>
> TOP TEN REASONS WHY THE STAR WARS CHARACTERS MIGHT NOT HAVE SUCH AN EASY =
> TIME OF IT IN KIRKS UNIVERSE...

Neither of these lists mentions the fact that Stormtroopers can't hit the
broad side of a barn, while Enterprise red-shirts die if you sneeze on
them. One of the funniest things I ever read was an attempt to harmonize
the two. Someone wrote an encounter between the Enterprise and the Death
Star. In the scene with the big shootout between the grunts, all of the
security officers looked around themselves in bewilderment as blaster
fire erupted harmlessly all around them...but meanwhile, an Imperial
officer snuck to the level above them and dropped a piano on them.

I guess you had to be there.)

-------------------------------------------
Kiri's WWW of URLs:
More Lileks Regrettable food - thanks Scavenger
http://www.lileks.com/institute/gallery ... index.html
Bacon Lettuce and Tomato scented candles
http://www.gratefulpalate.com/Merchant/ ... bacon2.htm
The September 11th Ground Zero Quilt
http://www.gzquilt.com/
Yankee or Dixie Quiz (sorry, I forgot who sent me this)
http://www.chuckchamblee.com/dom/fun/ya ... e_quiz.htm
----------------------
That I Never Knew Before By Dean Kanipe Area 51 Research Center

While viewing the film Independence Day, it became apparent that I was remarkably uninformed about several things related to Area 51, aliens, military operations, and America in general. Below is a quick list of a few important things I learned from the film that I never knew before, and a few lessons that were inferred from the plot. I wish to thank the creators of ID4 for making these facts much clearer to me.

1. Aliens like to blow up significant land marks first. Apparently the best way to destroy a city is to position your "Death Ray" over the most recognizable building.

2. All pro-UFO people are morons who dance atop the building directly under the Death Ray.

3. If alien "Destroyers" come to your city to blast it into oblivion, leave BEFORE they fire the Death Ray.

4. If alien "Destroyers" come to your city to blast it into oblivion and you are caught in traffic at the last minute, make sure that you are travelling with a dog and a small child. The Law of Averages says you'll survive the Death Ray.

5. If alien "Destroyers" come to your city to blast it into oblivion and you are caught in traffic at the last minute, make sure that you are NOT a raspy-voiced homosexual cable TV executive. The Law of Averages says you'll get waxed by the Death Ray.

6. Stripping is a lucrative profession that allows one to "Pay the bills," "take care of one's boy," and own a nice house in a middle class subdivision.

7. Strippers got moxie. When the going gets tough, they can drive California Highway Department utility vehicles, collect refugees and use their extensive survival skills to provide food and comfort to survivors.

8. NASA sends out rejection letters, just like Harvard.

9. Area 51 is an "Assault Base".

10. A fleet of RVs can travel across the Nevada Test Site in line-abreast formation without the need of roads, thanks to the immense expanses of Salt Flats and the lack of impeding mountains.

11. Area 51 has a big chain-link fence around it, and the guards at the gate wear black combat fatigues with white metal helmets in 120 degree heat.

12. Any bonehead with an RV can get to Area 51 by driving across the Salt Flat to the gate and flashing a captured alien to the guard.

13. Standard operating procedure for the Air Force is to cluster all vehicles, aircraft, and ground personnel on a 200 meter section of tarmac in the middle of an Alien Invasion.

14. The F-18 is the sole fighter in use by all branches of the service, including Marines and Air Force.

15. From the assault scenes on the Alien "Destroyers', it appears that the F-18 must have had a 1000 unit production run.

16. Both F-18s and B-2s must close to within 10 km of a target 20 km across before engaging with both air-to-air missiles and aerial launched nuclear cruise missiles.

17. People too drunk to walk can still fly crop dusters and F-18s.

18. Any bonehead with rudimentary aviation experience can be taught to pilot an F-18 in 5 hours.

19. Any bonehead with F-18 flight experience can learn to pilot an Alien fighter in 5 minutes.

20. Aliens with anatomy that includes tentacles and clawed feet use flight yokes just like ours.

21. Aliens are wimps, even the ones in "Bio-Mechanical" armor. They have glass jaws and can be taken out with a punch by Will Smith. (He has had a lot of practice on photographers, though.)

22. Aliens are stupid. When one of their fighters approaches the carrier, they don't bother to communicate with the pilot.

23. Aliens are even more stupid. They pursue their targets into canyons walls and closing blast doors.

24. Aliens are unbelievably stupid. While unarmed and unarmored, they do things to piss off people with hand guns.

25. Aliens are just too stupid for words to express. An alien air traffic controller can look at a fighter that has been human-modified for 20 minutes and is only 50 feet away and not notice the welded-on missile rack until the missile is fired through his work station.

26. Aliens are remarkably inarticulate. All they can say is, "Release me," "No peace," and "Die!"

27. If you're President and your administration is faltering, an Alien Invasion might be a good way to boost your ratings in the polls.

28. If you're President and your administration is faltering, manage to work into every other sentence the fact that you "flew in the Persian Gulf." No need to specify what branch of service.

29. If you're President and your administration is faltering and an Alien Invasion occurs, relocate the V.P., the Cabinet, and the Joint Chiefs to one centralized location so that the Aliens can take them all out with one shot. You can always blame the problems of the past on them after victory is achieved.

30. The President's Press secretary keeps her cell phone listed in the phone book "in case of emergencies."

31. If your father abandons his Jewish beliefs after the death of your mother, always carry around a Torah and a Yarmulke. Aliens might attack and offer him a chance to renew his faith.

32. If aliens abduct you and effectively destroy your life by making you the laughing stock of the community, never fear. When their "Destroyers" come, you will be vindicated to those who mocked your tale.

33. If aliens abduct you and do unspeakable things to you, you can have revenge upon them by flying an F-18 into their Death Ray.

34. If aliens abduct you and do unspeakable things to you and you have revenge upon them by flying an F-18 into their Death Ray, you will obtain redemption and your children will be proud of you.

35. The best way to win back a former wife is to be very annoying, look perpetually vexed, and keep wearing your wedding ring for 4 years after the divorce.

36. In 10 hours, one man with a Macintosh Laptop can code a virus in C++ that will take down a completely alien computer system.

37. Even though the Mac isn't compatible with most other Earthly operating systems, it can interface with an alien computer.

38. Alien network security is nonexistent.

39. Rather than attacking a planet when they first encounter it (i.e., 1940s), aliens wait until the planet has developed just enough technology to possibly defend itself. 40. Scientists at Area 51 are a bit touched in the head, and "Don't get out much."
Smeagain
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Re: February 22, 2004

Post by Smeagain »

Baltar wrote:
Sasari wrote: Sasarai: An ability or a spell that lets you have vision enough to scan when its raining
That would sure be nice. Since Avians are supposed to have such good
vision -- and since they're a little light on the skills anyway --
maybe they should get it. Call it "improved scan" or something.
alias improvedscan brief;birdseye n;birdseye e;birdseye s;birdseye w;birdseye u;birdseye d;brief

Ta Da :D
Pugh, Pugh, Barney McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble and Grubb
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Scavenger
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Joined: Mon Jan 06, 2003 11:14 pm
Location: Central Wisconsin, WI, US
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Re: February 22, 2004

Post by Scavenger »

kiri wrote:Kiri's WWW of URLs:
More Lileks Regrettable food - thanks Scavenger
http://www.lileks.com/institute/gallery ... index.html
Kiri has posted this site before but I can't recommend it highly enough. It has had me and my friends laughing until we couldn't breathe. You can see everything from Lileks.com but particular gems are Meat! Meat! Meat!, Patty Cake, Patty Cake, Bakers SHAME, 10 PM Cookery (Do you know where your weiners are?), The Peculiar Art of Mr. Frahm, and Dorcus Menswear for Men, just to name a few. Please, check it out and if you like it, pick up his book.
kiri wrote:Yankee or Dixie Quiz (sorry, I forgot who sent me this)
http://www.chuckchamblee.com/dom/fun/ya ... e_quiz.htm
How soon they forget. This was me. (And I am a Yankee that says "Bubbler", BTW.)
Image The Cardboard Tube Samurai!
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