March 7, 2004

This is where you can read the newsletters on the forum. Any replies are fair game to be put in the real thing.
Post Reply
User avatar
kiri
Needs Help
Posts: 619
Joined: Mon Jan 06, 2003 10:44 pm
Contact:

March 7, 2004

Post by kiri »

Welcome to the Barren Realms MUD Newsletter!

Come see all your friends - play on BR at telnet://barren.coredcs.com:8000/

---------------------------
IDEAS -- Please reply to these as I am all out of replies.


Dryrrdlor: allow rescue to choose which mob you want to rescue players from. tanks should be able to fight
more than just one enemy at a time. :)

Kitsune: a training mob somewhere that reports damage numerically. (Ow! That took 192 of my hit points!") Might
be helpful to see if a weapon makes average high discombobs or low. etc. etc.

Katreen: highlight the "you raise a level" in bright colors...so it's easier to see

Katreen: when an item is for sale in a shop, it should provide a free identify (using the command Identify <item>
when in the shop. the item must be for sale in order to be identified. it really helps players to know what they are
buying.

PurpleSkies: i would think that being translucent would cause your ac to go down, dince things that can pass through
walls would OBVIOUSLY be harder to hit

Lairian: The message for having drank water should probably read, "You are no longer thirsty" rather than
"You are not thirsty".

------------------------
Kiri's WWW of URLS:

From Mystique

http://www.topeuro.co.uk/blagger/the_duel.html

A prank played on a local news station -- some are suggestive or naughty

http://mercury.rh.ncsu.edu/tww-closings/

From scavenger:

http://sheep123.keenspace.com/d/20040204.html

Suggested by Anakin, Ze's Online Pre-date Confidence Builder

http://www.zefrank.com/predate/

----------------------------

Newspaper Headlines
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents

Farmer Bill Dies in House

Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands

Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms

Eye Drops Off Shelf

Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead

Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim

Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66

Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax

Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

Stolen Painting Found by Tree

Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies

Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter

Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years

War Dims Hope for Peace

If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge

Deer Kill 17,000

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Dealers Will Hear Car Talk at Noon

Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy

Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire

British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply

Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood

Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

New Vaccine May Contain Rabies

Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing in Killing

Air Head Fired

Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni

Grandmother of Eight Makes Hole in One

Man Steals Clock, Faces Time

Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped

Smokers Are Productive, But Death Cuts Efficiency

Two Convicts Evade Noose, Jury Hung

Child's Stool Great for Use in Garden

Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe Out Literacy

Man is Fatally Slain

Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

Autos Killing 110 a Day, Let's Resolve to do Better
User avatar
Stars
Mud Addict
Posts: 446
Joined: Tue Jan 07, 2003 10:10 am
Location: Earth

Post by Stars »

Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
This isn't funny. This is just sad. :(
Stolen Painting Found by Tree
I don't get it.
Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
I don't get it.
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Aha! A fart joke, I get this one.
British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
*groan*
New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
What next, Kiri in my vitamin supplement?
Two Convicts Evade Noose, Jury Hung
It's about time!
Man is Fatally Slain
He should have known better than to mess around with AMystery.
The stars brightly shine upon our world, a constant reminder of our origin. We are stars.
User avatar
Slart
Newbie
Posts: 134
Joined: Wed Jan 08, 2003 3:07 pm
Location: Neither here nor there

Post by Slart »

Stars wrote:
Stolen Painting Found by Tree
I don't get it.
The tree found it.
Stars wrote:
Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
I don't get it.
One of the ships died.

I hope this clears up any confusion as well as killing any remaining humor that might have been left in the joke. I'm here to help.
User avatar
Stars
Mud Addict
Posts: 446
Joined: Tue Jan 07, 2003 10:10 am
Location: Earth

Post by Stars »

Ok, so the tree slipped by me. I feel dumb for that one.

I figured that a "ship" dying was supposed to be the joke. I still don't get it.

Thanks for the help, Slart. I don't think you ruined the fun.

Some of these were pretty amusing.
The stars brightly shine upon our world, a constant reminder of our origin. We are stars.
User avatar
Scavenger
Site Admin
Posts: 138
Joined: Mon Jan 06, 2003 11:14 pm
Location: Central Wisconsin, WI, US
Contact:

Post by Scavenger »

Stars wrote:
Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
I don't get it.
The headline writer meant, "Two Soviet-owned ships collided catastrophically resulting in the death of one person," but the headline could also be interpreted as "Two Soviet-owned ships collided catastrophically resulting in the death of one ship."

Tee hee hee...
Image The Cardboard Tube Samurai!
User avatar
Comatose
Newbie
Posts: 140
Joined: Mon Jan 27, 2003 2:47 pm
Location: South Carolina
Contact:

Post by Comatose »

Stars wrote:
Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
This isn't funny. This is just sad. :(
I guess I am just a cold person. I thought this was funny. It is sad that one of the twins died, but the headline that the survivor joined parents is kinda funny.

*shrug*
User avatar
kiri
Needs Help
Posts: 619
Joined: Mon Jan 06, 2003 10:44 pm
Contact:

Post by kiri »

See? Proof that people have senses of humor, including people who don't like peanut butter jelly time!
User avatar
Stars
Mud Addict
Posts: 446
Joined: Tue Jan 07, 2003 10:10 am
Location: Earth

Post by Stars »

Comatose wrote:
Stars wrote:
Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
This isn't funny. This is just sad. :(
I guess I am just a cold person. I thought this was funny. It is sad that one of the twins died, but the headline that the survivor joined parents is kinda funny.

*shrug*
I'm sorry, guys. I guess I just couldn't get past the first part. I get all weepy when I see how awful life can be for innocent children like those referred to in this joke. Seriously though, I don't want to bring anyone down. I laughed very hard at some of the other stuff.
Miners refuse to work after death.
I thought this was hilarious. Why in the world is this funny, and yet I almost cried over the conjoined twins? I'm weird.

Most of the other headlines inspire very amusing mental images. I really enjoyed this, Kiri. Keep up the good work! :)
The stars brightly shine upon our world, a constant reminder of our origin. We are stars.
Post Reply