Newsletters June 2002 Welcome to the Barren Realms MUD newsletter for June 4, 2002! Come visit BR at telnet://barren.coredcs.com:8000/ IDEAS: Isis: aren't elves sposed to be a stealthy race? perhaps they should get sneak in guild... Isis: hide show up in aff? AMystery: it would be nice to be able to recall with a vehicle. really give people an incentive to purchase and use them. sure its not realistic, but then recall itself isn't, unless its magical in which case the vehicle can go too Divebomb: allow builders to specify if a mob should not have any gold when it's killed (why would animals carry gold?) - we can already specify more gold by giving it to them Divebomb: alter frenzy to the following: halves your ac towards 0 (so if you have -300, it gives you -150) and double the attacks per round for 1-2 ticks Ashes: how about a version of identify allowing you see see the time left on a tainted item AMystery: how about a corpse channel that would announce when pccorpses were about to melt? save on the manual checking that has to be done now and wouldn't add to the spam as there are few corpses now. maybe just for !empty corpses Smeagol: I think we've had this up before but it would be nice if you could see if you got a new note while playing. not just personal notes but notes adressed to all too Nalov: killer flags are a little extreme for killing charmed mobs..when most of the time it's an accident Kiri -- I agree. Which is why we're trying to get rid of all possible ways of "accidentally" killing a charmed mob. HAX: I just received and finally read the Barren Realms Newsletter dated May 28, 2002. First, let me say I appreciate the work you and other contributors have done to make the newsletter possible. I have been playing BR on and off over the past years (well before the address change to barren.coredcs.com) and while I don't always have an afternoon or an evening to devote to play, the newsletter has kept me in touch and, in turn, kept me interested in the BR community. Restated simply...thanks! In the last newsletter you asked for suggestions, even going so far as to offer a small prize for involvement =). For my suggestion, I'd like to see a new column in the newsletter, submitted by players of all levels, that focuses upon an individual or group adventure. Articles could be written in the first person as a narration of a recent adventure. Players can laugh at their blunders and everyone will have to ability to relate on some level. From failures to great successes, there is lots of room for everyone to get involved and share information. When I imagine how news must travel throughout the Barren Realms world, I see stories being told and at times embellished greatly. Other times gigantic elements of the true story are omitted to save someone from certain embarrassment. Sometimes these stories are told in a tavern, maybe passed from one friend to another, or between inmates in a jail. Sometimes they are true, sometimes not. In every case, the sense of adventure, the thrill of the hunt, and the awareness of how fragile life can be in the Realms is passed along to the listener. Maybe these stories have a moral, like always carry a backup torch. Some stories could have no morality, what so ever, as in remember the time my friends and I slaughtered the city mayor just for fun. Yet others could be about the best way to defeat a common foe, or the most efficient way to use rescue, backstab, or heal critical wounds. Once we're here, we might even hear stories about how one player seduced another with that special and rarely used emote. Consider this a spin off and expansion of the Help Rumors ## command, instead with an individual focus from the players themselves. I'm not directly interested in a prize; reward enough would be seeing this idea take off. Thanks again and please, share your comments! -Hax Kiri - Gratz to Hax for the first idea prize of the newsletter! See me online for your prize. I am always looking for stories to include in the newsletter, and this sounds great! I'd even be willing to give people some sort of reward for a job well done. Anyone: go ahead and send any creative article of the above-mentioned theme, and let's try to get this to take off! BIO by Xorex: BIO: Name on BR: Xorex 1. What piece of equipment would you most like to have irl and why? * Well, the piece I would most like to have is my golden hat of a high-bouncing lover which I accidentally sold to Lisette the other day. I like it so much because it's just a cool piece of equ on its own and also because it comes from a really good literary source which I don't want to reveal until someone guesses it because I'm sure someone knows what it's referring to. But if it needs to be a piece that loads normally in the mud, then I'll take Yorick's Skull because that scene is awesome. (I wouldn't mind having a photon displacement matrix as well). 2. If you could be any kind of M&M what kind would you be and why, also what color? * I haven't eaten candy in a long, long time so I may just be making this up, but I would like to be an almond M&M because the almond is long, thin and tough just like I want to be. I'd be dark brown because you can't go wrong with dark brown for a chocolate candy color. 3. What color is your toothbrush? * It's white and green and it has my dentist's name printed on it in gold letters so if I lose it the person who finds it will be able to give it to my dentist who will give it back to me, or maybe the address is on there so I won't forget my dentist's name...whatever. 4. Do you have any pets? * I have a small ivy plant and a small bonsai which sadly has begun turning brown this past week. I think its life might be ending sadly. I also have a dog named Patches and a turtle named Tommy at my house. 5. When's your birthday? * January 14, 1983 6. What is your favorite sport and favorite team? * My favorite sport is probably ultimate frisbee. I don't know any ultimate frisbee teams that I feel very strongly towards so I'll say my favorite team was my highschool track/cross country team. 7. Who was the hero/imm who helped you when you first started BR? * My friend Kalar/Avon 8. Which mob is your favorite? * Practically speaking my favorite is Ali Baba, but for some reason the tomcat has always been my good friend. 9. Who introduced you to the mud? Have you passed the favor on to anyone? * My friend Avon/Kalar. I told some people about it but they didn't play for too long. The highest anyone I've told has gotten is level 35 I think. 10. If you were an animal, what would you be? * A penguin. 11. What significant events greatly affected your life? * I don't really have any personal milestones that I can point to. I wish I did it would have made filling out college applications alot easier. Probably a bunch books I've read have had the most impact on who I am now. 12. What is your favorite area in the realms, and why? * I like Coven the most because I had so much fun exploring back when I was new to the realms. Other favorties are The Frozen Mountain, Twilight, and Haunted Manor. 13. What is the longest amount of time you have ever spent in one sitting on the realms? * Probably seven or eight hours on the days I heroed and avatared. 14. If you could go back in time to 1BC, what modern invention would you bestow on our primitive ancestors to make their lives better? * I don't know. Every invention I think of, I think of what our lives would be like if we didn't know it existed and honestly our lives wouldn't be any worse. They might even be better. I guess I'd give them plastic so that they could preserve their records longer and maybe give us a clearer picture of our history. 15. Given only a golf club, a shoe, some flypaper, sand and a cube - what would you make? * I'd make a game called sticky cube. You put the fly paper up on the wall preferably in a high place. Then you put the shoe over the face of the club and try to use it to knock the cube up into the flypaper. 16. What one thing would you change about the world? * I'd make everyone take a deep breath and realize that pretty much almost everything doesn't really matter. Maybe that would make some people not be so bent on doing things that hurt other people. 17. What one super power would you like to have? * True wisdom. Does that count? I'm out of responses for this month. Go ahead and hit reply to this email and send me your comments on ideas proposed. Onto the URLS! Kiri's WWW of URLs: AGHHHHHH!!! Thanks to Dunbarth: http://www.exonome.com/fj/phkl/index.html From Divebomb, Phobias (some of these are quite funny) http://phobialist.com Slimeball http://www.diddly.com/slime/ Sonar Challenge http://fire.he.net/~sonarr/sonarchallenge.html Actual epitaphs from gravestones: Lester Moore was a Wells, Fargo Co. station agent for Naco, Arizona, in the cowboy days of the 1880's. He's buried in the Boot Hill Cemetery in Tombstone, Arizona: Here lies Lester Moore Four slugs from a .44 No Les No More. In a Georgia cemetery: "I told you I was sick!" Memory of an accident in a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery: Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake Stepped on the gas Instead of the brake. In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery: Here lays Butch, We planted him raw. He was quick on the trigger, But slow on the draw. A lawyer's epitaph in England: Sir John Strange Here lies an honest lawyer, And that is Strange. On Margaret Daniels' grave at Hollywood Cemetery Richmond, Virginia: She always said her feet were killing her but nobody believed her. Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York: Born 1903--Died 1942 Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was. Someone determined to be anonymous in Stowe, Vermont: I was somebody. Who, is no business Of yours. ***"Fanfare for the Common Man" plays in the background*** This is it! What you've all been waiting for! As of 2:32 AM EDT, a new era has dawned (appropriately enough in the middle of the night at the mud's site) at Barren Realms! REMORT IS IN!!! Hurry and enjoy the new Demon race! Get cheap and illicit thrills from performing exotically profane and foul rites! Grow a second head even uglier than your first! Use two of your four arms to pat yourself on the back for just being so darned cool! Grow strange appendages out of misshapen joints! And MUCH, MUCH more! FIVE out of FIVE immortals agree that remort characters are MORE FUN than OTHER things that are NOT as much FUN! Log on your avatar character and try remort today! -Slart. Welcome to the Barren Realms MUD Newsletter! This is it! What you've all been waiting for! As of 2:32 AM EDT, a new era has dawned (appropriately enough in the middle of the night at the mud's site) at Barren Realms! REMORT IS IN!!! Hurry and enjoy the new Demon race! Get cheap and illicit thrills from performing exotically profane and foul rites! Grow a second head even uglier than your first! Use two of your four arms to pat yourself on the back for just being so darned cool! Grow strange appendages out of misshapen joints! And MUCH, MUCH more! FIVE out of FIVE immortals agree that remort characters are MORE FUN than OTHER things that are NOT as much FUN! Log on your avatar character and try remort today! -Slart. telnet://barren.coredcs.com:8000/ I'm inviting people to hit reply and drop me a line that I can include in the newsletter to inform people what you have been up to since the last time you were on the Realms (make sure to include your character name!) People often are looking for friends they haven't seen in a while and want to know what you are up to! These players need to log their characters in this week: Ajax, Alodar, Askilus, Azmar, Backstabber, Beeper, Bjorn, Bdthrsty, Boxboy, Brigid, Buckeroo, Cartilage, Cell, Cronos, Cruzcfai, Der, Docwan, Eldmasken, Fera, Giggles, Guardman, Jimbob, Kilroch, Kino, Kipper, Landin, Leesha, Loriel, Lyndon, Lysander, Magnation, Musteion, Nalla, Nazita, Nickeman, Omnipotus, Orr, Paratov, Payback, Plaid, Podox, Psychadel, Rahvin, Randalph, Razor, Shakazulu, Sixten, Soulase, Sportif, Stahn, Starful, Tankgirl, Taprias, Tarias, Terakkan, Trowa, Umbroso, Vette, Windwalker, Xantor, Yardbird, Zom IDEAS - Go ahead and hit reply! Conesus: How about a shop keeper in Calathar [or another city] that cna do a locate object spell for money? Conesus: This might a bit too much, but how about mobs also get xp for kills they make, and can also level. while this would be a rare happening, i beleive it would be easy to code [like gold, the xp stays with them until they are killed, and repop with 0], and might be humorous to see when somebody gets nailed by a mob, especially one that seems to kill a lot Eru: have sneak show when you fail or start to sneak. instead of having to check affects every time. Joysinger: add the name of the dead player to pc corpses as their keyword - so they will be easier to loot? it's annoying to have to count down a whole list of corpses when there are several in the room :) (so keywords would be corpse and pcname) Joysinger: please add a number in front of listed items so we don't have to count down to the 25th sword we want to buy from the shopkeeper we're sitting at ;) AMystery: guards always assist against those lower aligned, might it be better for areas designs if they could instead assist against people higher align. for example, in an evil area someone good might come in to destroy the evilness. the guards should want Foy: is it possible to do a tic-tac-toe game using the connect 4 style of play? Kudzu: Trip is a pretty cheap little trick. kenders should get it in guild Dio: have a chat for just the remort people to ask questions to eachother about remort? Kharn: "pose" command for demons ... i always liked the "pose" command :( Leiland: martial artists can't disarm? Liubei: a demon channel that only demons can see Foy: can a healer offer a spell that does a mass spell up? Tom: When you Type Area, it should only bring up the area's which are in your range and below =) Tom: When you have the key to unlock a door, maybe we could just do open door, and it automatically unlock it for us.... Icecold: could claws of the lion from feline temple get the keyword claws, also? claw works, i know... AMystery: new skill for illithids. inkjet. Ill makes a cloud of ink that either blinds the mob or helps the ill flee. I suggest it be a more effect flee than the command. maybe 50% chance of success Icecold: how about adding a message when mobs aren't tripped/entwined/tailswept anymore? we should be able to tell, right? :) Icecold: please please please - detect good for demons? add it to one of the worse eyes to spice them up maybe? or even to the lion muzzle... *sniff your enemy!* :) Dio: show bank balance when you type stat Icecold: slart's name as a signature beneath help demon. sortof like help avian starts with coded by cuervo. :) i'm serious. Kiri -- IDEA of the week! I completely agree. :) Maynard: a spell to enhance dexterity for a short period of time. Like giant strength enhances strength. Its: have the top floor of the clock tower magic out, its not cool getting cursed up there and then having to wait 30 mins real time to be able to recall Chyrus: There's a few things for colors that would be nice to be able to change...1. When you kill the mob and get exp, i like that to stand out, Room exits changeable 3. Is The mobs condition, like Blah Blah is bleeding freely Que: i was wandering why as martial artists that humans didn't get disarm? Kharn: make it possible to locate "where 2.mobname" in an area Eternity: "look 2.object" would be nice. As it is now, we either have to get all objects with the same keyword and then drop one or put one in a pack to look at the second. BIO: > Name on BR: Anavrinman > 1. What piece of equipment would you most like to > have irl and why? > Rocky's Golden Briefs. It'd give me a pretty cool excuse to run around in my underwear > > 2. If you could be any kind of M&M what kind would > you be and why, also what > color? I'm gonna be a rebel and become a skittle > > 3. What color is your toothbrush? I don't really know...I'm not that coherent enough to notice that early in the morning > > 4. Do you have any pets? Couple of ferrets, guinea pig, some fish, and a 5-year old little brother > > 5. When's your birthday? February 8, 1984 > > 6. What is your favorite sport and favorite team? > Is women's mud wrestling considered a sport...? > > > 7. Who was the hero/imm who helped you when you > first started BR? ...wish I could remember so I could thank him... > > 8. Which mob is your favorite? I think that after having it kill me any number of dozens of times, I've developed a personal relationship with the angry stone in the clocktower > > 9. Who introduced you to the mud? Have you passed > the favor on to anyone? See got me into it, and since then I've dragged Kobra, Zerochocobo and a few others that escape me at the moment. > > 10. If you were an animal, what would you be? A ferret of course. If ours our any indication, it's a sweet, sweet life > > 11. What significant events greatly affected your > life? World events or...? My sister was born less than two minutes before the Challanger exploded. The whole 9-11 thing hit home, just like everyone else. Other than that, I've stayed pretty oblivious to world events > > > 12. What is your favorite area in the realms, and > why? Rocky Horror picture show...sorry, the movie is just a classic > > > 13. What is the longest amount of time you have ever > spent in one sitting on the realms? I think I've logged in as many as 17 hours at some points, and when I get off, I always feel like I'm the worlds biggest geek. > > 14. If you could go back in time to 1BC, what modern > invention would you bestow on our primitive > ancestors to make their lives better? > Definately pornography...it's gotta be the greatest thing ever to happen to mankind. > > 15. Given only a golf club, a shoe, some flypaper, > sand and a cube - what would you make? I'd throw it all together and make a giant pile of garbage > > 16. What one thing would you change about the world? > Me and one of my friends have concluded to inventing a set of goggles that can detect stupid people so that they can be eliminated. We then decided that it would be more realistic to just market goggles that are supposed to make you smarter, find the people wearing them and terminate them. > > 17. What one super power would you like to have? > X-ray vision. Sorry, it goes with the whole teenage male pervert kinda thing. Updates from players: Bluestar- Since I've been gone I've been accepted to a boarding school (it goes through the summer! :( ) and have been here for 6 days now. I miss you guys! If anyone wants to email me my address is: bbluestar@email.com I can check it about once a week :) Love you all- This is Gypsyb. Since I played Realms last, I have retired from work, moved from the city to the country. Built a new home (that took some time since it was built in the middle of a corn field). After almost 2 years, I am still trying to get a lawn established. A whole acre is quite a lawn to me, since I was used to a postage stamp size in the city, ha ha! Had to buy a riding lawn mower to get around it all. I have thought about playing Realms many times, but would probably have to go back through training! I hate to be a hero and go back through the training! lol Anyway, life goes on just a lot slower and don't know how I did so much when I was working, since I have no time since I retired????? Crazy! Right??? Hope to see all of you again sometime, maybe soon, hope so. GypsyB Responses by Leiland: I've never actually gotten my replies posted, I dont think, so I must suck at it, but I might as well tell you what I think. Ideas from the Realms (hit reply and comment on them): Mercury: Thrist, can you cap it so it will say your thrist is quenched after you had your fill like food is set up? >I think it already does that, doesn't it? It says you do not feel thirsty, at least. Kharn: time stamps in "chath"Kiri -- IDEA OF THE WEEK! I agree. I will talk to the coders about this. Please see me for your prize.>heh, like I'm going to disagree with Kiri's idea of the week ;) ElfChild: clericus should do energy transfer for newbies>Energy transfer is really powerful, and with newbies it'd fill mana completely... and newbies dont have that much mana to begin with, so it seems it wouldn't take very long to get it back just by getting drunk and sleeping... Though convenient, seems a bit much. Mercury: Dexterity enhances the dodge and parry skills... prime att for Humans and Kenders... yet humans don't get either ...care to elaborate in the newsletter?>Kay, well humans do get parry and dodge, just not in guild. I'd say humans should at least get dodge in guild, seems very martial arts-ish to me, though parry is with weapons, isn't it? I can understand that not being in guild for humans. Lairian: If a spell that is already affecting a character is cast on them again, the new spell should replace the old, so that you can rebuff when you can, not when you need to, and often can't.>I think it'd be nice, personally, unless there's a good reason not to that I just can't think of. Isis: maybe give mobs the same lag when they disarm/get disarmed as players? it's really annoying that mobs can immediately pick up/wield weapons>Of course I agree with myself. Divebomb wants to make mobs able to do most things players can, but I think it should work the other way, too. If players get a few rounds of lag from being disarmed, I think that should apply to mobs, too. Otherwise, they just pick it up and wield it the next round and disarm you while you're lagged from succeeding in disarming them. Lairian: Casting should report to mobs so that sneaking characters can't cast>This makes sense to me... you mutter words, don't you? Kinda hard to sneak around talking to yourself... FireLily: There should be some way to tell if a character is a rehero when looking at their profile.>Hmm... I dont see much practical use, but I think as long as there's a way for a rehero to disable that feature in his/her own profile, I'd say sure, why not? Smart: it should say how much you are paying for an item when you buy it >Sounds logical, I mean you hand them the money... maybe "You buy a [item] for [price]" Conesus: How about the 'report' command also shows how much experience is required for the next level?>I think that'd be really convenient, especially in groups when you want to know how much everyone has tnl, so people dont have to type it all out or else round it. Conesus: How about a command so you can see what a social will do without actually using the social and having the room hear it?>But that's the fun part! Dont know what a social does, try it out, and everyone gets a good laugh when it's not what you expect. Conesus: How about the ability to make the first letter of our name lowercase. Sort of like with a recap command, able to capitalize parts of our name while on the MUD, instead of only at logon, and able to do the first letter lowercase. I dunno, maybe this really *isnt* such a great idea. >umm... if people want their name to be all lowercase, I dont see why they shouldnt be able to, but it seems like any amount of work would be too much for something so small, when there are other things that, in my opinion, should take precedence. Kiri's WWW of URLs: From Sgetsuo. Something's fishy. http://www.accesspro.com.tw/products/trackball/ap500/ap500.asp Another comic from Scavenger http://annie.keenspace.com/d/20020223.html I like mules http://www.introducingmonday.co.uk/ From Divebomb. Want some hints on where to start with genealogy? http://www.thebookbindery.com/genealogy.htm How to annoy a Star Wars fan When someone starts going on about the life-changing role the Star Wars movies have played in their developmental years, casually announce that you've never seen any of them, but hear they are "pretty good." Get important terminology wrong -- this drives the true fanatic nuts! Confuse Wookies with "Winkies"; call Yoda "Yodel"; refer to Return of the Jedi as Revenge of the Jedi, Phantom Menace as Planet Menace. Get very annoyed when corrected. Get the names of the key characters wrong, or better still -- forget them. "You remember the guy from these movies, you know, the one with the plastic head and the respiratory problem?" or "Oh, yeah, Ben-Wa Kenubi, my favorite, played by that English bloke. Wassisname. Sounds like a beer or something." Insist that The Empire Strikes Back is the only worthwhile Star Wars movie because it is "sooo dark." Deliberately confuse science-fiction universes and inhabitants. Double fun and satisfaction as this offends two sets of rabid Nerdocracies at the same time. For example, insist that Luke Gripewater is fighting for "The Federation" and that Chewbaccy is a Vulcan. Insist that "to boldly go where no man has gone before" is a Jedi commandment. Brush off any attempt at correction with a dismissive "whatever. As if anybody really cares." Make vaguely unsettling insinuations about George Lucas. Try "isn't he involved in some sort of DNA-cloning controversy?" or "I hear he only talks to his mother via a TV monitor," or "I read this piece where he said Star Wars was written for people who hate sex." Insist that there is a "latent homo-erotic subtext" to the Han Solo/Luke Skystalker relationship and you are uncomfortable with Lucas' "non-critical, neo-Nazi aesthetic." When asked what you are talking about, roll your eyes and refer to the "blatant homage to Riefenstahl's Triumph of the Will" at the end of the first movie, then add, "Don't tell me you didn't notice?" When some sad sack describes the insane lengths he went to for The Phantom Menace -- camping out on the street, taking time off work, neglecting loved ones, not bathing and so on, respond by saying someone "in the business" gave you a couple of free tickets to the official opening, but you lost them and add, "Funny, that's the first time I thought about it." When they just won't shut up about how it's the most spectacular movie event of all time and how you would have to be a moron not to dedicate every waking moment to it, simply say, "Yeah, my little sister and her little friends get a kick out of it all. You know how it is with these pop space movies." Sit there and listen while they are talking about how it's so true to the original and won't shut up about how painstakingly the director attempted to create the depth and interest of the first three. Then, simply say, "Jar Jar Brinks sucks big time and the whole movie was made to market cheap Taiwanese toys at Burger King with his face plastered all over it." When the guy starts talking about when he was sitting in the theater borderline about to have a stroke watching Phantom Menace, casually say, "Yeah, I thought the ending was good, when my friends woke me up just towards the last quarter." The ultimate is to play stupid that the movie was even a big event. "Attack of the Clones? Yeah, I heard something about that in the local newspaper. Something about the guy that made the first four is going at it again or something? Dunno ... " When someone is sitting there theorizing about how there's probably secret messages and things you can see if you look closely in the movie, just calmly sit there and say in a whisper, "Then I guess you haven't played it backwards in a VCR before?" Try not to laugh as the person (attempting to look calm and collected) slowly gets up, starts walking out of sight, then see him bolt down the street towards their house to try it. Depending on how avid of a fan the person is, look for the smoke trail. To make the last suggestion even more fun, wait for them to call back after they have gone through the whole movie backwards and couldn't find anything in Phantom Menace. Tell them, "Oh, that's right, it was in one of the other three episodes." When they tell you the lengths they went through and the sleepless nights spent trying to get a pirated copy before everyone got to see it in the theater, tell them, "That's funny, I simply called the 1-800 number that was all over the Internet and got it mailed to me the same day, three weeks before the movie came out." Welcome to the Barren Realms Newsletter! I'm inviting people to hit reply and drop me a line that I can include in the newsletter to inform people what you have been up to since the last time you were on the Realms (make sure to include your character name!) People often are looking for friends they haven't seen in a while and want to know what you are up to! Ideas from the Realms (hit reply and comment on them): Mercury: Thrist, can you cap it so it will say your thrist is quenched after you had your fill like food is set up? Kharn: time stamps in "chath" Kiri -- IDEA OF THE WEEK! I agree. I will talk to the coders about this. Please see me for your prize. ElfChild: clericus should do energy transfer for newbies Mercury: Dexterity enhances the dodge and parry skills... prime att for Humans and Kenders... yet humans don't get either ...care to elaborate in the newsletter? Lairian: If a spell that is already affecting a character is cast on them again, the new spell should replace the old, so that you can rebuff when you can, not when you need to, and often can't. Isis: maybe give mobs the same lag when they disarm/get disarmed as players? it's really annoying that mobs can immediately pick up/wield weapons Lairian: Casting should report to mobs so that sneaking characters can't cast FireLily: There should be some way to tell if a character is a rehero when looking at their profile. Smart: it should say how much you are paying for an item when you buy it Conesus: How about the 'report' command also shows how much experience is required for the next level? Conesus: How about a command so you can see what a social will do without actually using the social and having the room hear it? Conesus: How about the ability to make the first letter of our name lowercase. Sort of like with a recap command, able to capitalize parts of our name while on the MUD, instead of only at logon, and able to do the first letter lowercase. I dunno, maybe this really *isnt* such a great idea. Lately, people have been commenting that they don't know how to send me a bio. Easy! Here's a blank one. You just hit reply and fill in your answers and press send. :) Make sure you include your mud name. BIO: Lehua, Rhyme 1. What piece of equipment would you most like to have irl and why? * I'd have to opt for the "dashing good looks" but I'm led to understand that this piece of equipment is still being beta tested by Oakley... For the last 4 years. Kiri, make him give it back!!! ;-) 2. If you could be any kind of M&M what kind would you be and why, also what color? * I'd be blue! Just because I like blue!!! 3. What color is your toothbrush? * White with BLUE! 4. Do you have any pets? * A bamboo... He doesn't talk very much and never makes a mess. 5. When's your birthday? * In February. 6. What is your favorite sport and favorite team? * Let's see... It involves a ball, a couple of goals and my favorite team is the one on the field... Oh?!? There's two teams down there? Silly me! Actually, I'd have to say the sport I most enjoy playing is tennis. I don't have a favorite team, but if I had to pick a team I'd pick the Red Sox on the principle that they try really hard, and even if they lose, their fans love them. That says something! 7. Who was the hero/imm who helped you when you first started BR? * Geez, I don't remember... 7 years is a long time! 8. Which mob is your favorite? * King Kandy!!! He's funded many, many enhancements. If I had to pick another favorite mob, I'd have to go with that crazy aggie somebody once summoned to recall (before the spells protecting recall were put in place). I died many times that day, along with many others. 9. Who introduced you to the mud? Have you passed the favor on to anyone? * Oh, easy one. Opus/Garfield introduced me. We went to high school together, along with bushwhacker. I introduced AOL's CEO's Father's Brother's son to this MUD... (In other words, Steve Case's first cousin, Chris.) 10. If you were an animal, what would you be? * A rich ladies tabby cat!!! Either that or a Dolphin! 11. What significant events greatly affected your life? * Can I pass on this one? If not, I'd just have to say it involved a room full of people, bright lights, and someone pronouncing the obvious... Of course I'm a boy!!!! 12. What is your favorite area in the realms, and why? * Kiri's torture chamber... LOL! 13. What is the longest amount of time you have ever spent in one sitting on the realms? * Ummm... 12 hrs? This was a long time ago, when I was a high school senior with a bad case of senioritus. 14. If you could go back in time to 1BC, what modern invention would you bestow on our primitive ancestors to make their lives better? * Let's see, can I make it a whole slew of inventions? First I'd invent paper so their kids can make paper airplanes. Then I'd invent the printing press so those kids will never run out of paper to make their paper airplanes (What other use for text books are there?). Then I'd invent Detention so I can send all the bullies there and keep them there until they graduate. Then, maybe I'd invent paper money, so I could print all the money I wanted. In reality, I'd invent the scientific method. With that, they can do anything... (Then I'd give them the dewey decimal system and mysteriously say - "One day, you'll find a use for this.") 15. Given only a golf club, a shoe, some flypaper, sand and a cube - what would you make? * A margarita! 16. What one thing would you change about the world? * Ummm... There's entirely too much violence in the world, so the first thing I would do is banish all the other men to an alternate universe... Then I'd announce to the World that I was the last man on Earth and then wait. 17. What one super power would you like to have? * I'd like to have an IQ of 2000. From there, I could probably figure out a way to give myself other powers. California Driver's License Application: Name: Stage name: Great One Agent: Weasel Attorney: Dad Publicist: That Darned Rat Manicurist/hair stylist: (talks-to-much) Sex: Never!!! Okay, only once... But it was years ago! If female, indicate breast implant size: Please, do tell!!! Fake boobs can look good, but they aren't as much fun. Will the size of your implants hinder your ability to safely operate motor vehicle in any way? (This will explain why driving in Southern California can be so dangerous.) Occupation: [ ] Lawyer [ ] Actor/Waiter [ ] Filmmaker/Self-employed [ ] Writer [ ] Car Dealer [ ] Panhandler [ ] Agent [ ] Hooker/Transvestite [ ] Other; please explain: Left out Stripper working her way through Law School (Student, still... Oh well. One day I'll graduate and then take over the world!!! Pinky? You still there?) Please indicate how many times you expect to have sex in a car: ZERO Please indicate how much you plan to spend for this sex: $100 (Yes, pathetic like that... Who else would pay $100 for somebody to talk to who isn't a therapist? Nope, never did that either.) Please list: Brand of cell phone: Samsung. (If you don't own a cell phone, please explain: Pathetic???.) Please check hair color: Females: [ ] Blonde [ ] Platinum Blonde (LOL! Too true!) Teenagers: [ ] Purple [ ] Blue Skinhead Men: Please list shade of hair plugs. (I have black hair! Wavy/curly fro!!!) Activities you perform while driving: (Check all that apply) [ ] Eating a wrap [ ] Applying make-up [ ] Talking on the phone [ ] Slapping kids in the back seat [ ] Having sex [ ] Applying cellulite treatment to thighs [ ] Tanning [ ] Snorting cocaine [ ] Watching TV [ ] Reading Variety [ ] Surfing the Net via your laptop (Oh darn! Nothing above applies to me! How about listening to good rock?!?) Please indicate how many times: a) you expect to shoot at other drivers: no b) you expect to be shot at while driving: no If you are the victim of a car-jacking, you should immediately: a) Call the police to report the crime. b) Call Channel 4 News to report the crime, then watch your car on the news on a high-speed chase. c) Call your attorney and discuss lawsuit against cellular phone company for 911 call not going through. d) Call your therapist. e) None of the above (South Central residents only). (Kick said-car jackers' butts, then proceed to bash them. Tie them to my bumper, and drag them to the police station. Yes, obviously I've never had my car jacked!) Please indicate if you drive a: a) Beamer b) Lexus c) Mercedes d) Toyota If your answer is D, please add six to eight weeks to normal delivery time for your driver's license. (Umm... e) (I drive a Mercury) In the event of an earthquake, you should: a) stop your car. (Stop my car and pray crazy motorists don't kill me before the Earthquake does.) b) keep driving and hope for the best. (Umm... No!) c) immediately use your cell phone to call all loved ones. (They have other things to be worried about at the moment. I wouldn't want them running back into the house to answer the phone.) d) pull out your video camera and obtain footage for Channel 4. (This presupposes I have a video camera and that I would consider the news as the benefactor of my hard work. I'd sell it to a tabloid and say this is what happens when my stomach rumbles.) In the instance of rain, you should: a) never drive over 5 MPH, b) drive twice as fast as usual, or c) you're not sure what "rain" is. (I would drive 5 miles under the posted speed limit) Please indicate number of therapy sessions per week: none, but people often tell me I should try a little bit of therapy... They obviously have issues regarding my homicidal tendencies. Go figure! ;-) Are you presently taking any of the following medications? a) Prozac (nope) b) Zovirax (nope) c) Lithium (nope) d) Xanax (nope) e) Viagra (Hmmmm... Where can I get some?) If none, please explain: Let's see... Don't need prozak, zovirax, lithium, or xanax. Don't know if I need Viagra. Is there some kind of sign which lets you know? Length of daily commute: a) 1 hour b) 2 hours c) 3 hours d) 4 hours or more. a. 1 hour When stopped by police, you should: a) pull over and have your driver's license and insurance form ready. b) try to outrun them by driving the wrong way on the 405. c) have your video camera ready and provoke them to attack, thus ensuring yourself of a hefty lawsuit. d) reload before coming to a complete stop. You left out the best!!! Pull out a get out of jail free card and hand that to the officer in place of your driver's license. a. Pull over and have documents ready, anything else is just suicidal... I just wish I had a diplomatic pass! Kiri's WWW of URLs: From Scav... Wonder if he really does this? http://www.penny-arcade.com/view.php3?date=2000-12-27&res=l Make your own SouthPark character! http://southpark.gamesweb.com/flash/sp-studio.html Admit it, how many of you are like this? http://www.comics.com/comics/arlonjanis/archive/arlonjanis-20020526.html Or this? http://www.pvponline.com/archive.php3?archive=20020614 The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you understand the fuzzy language of science and medicine. These special phrases are also applicable to anyone reading a PhD dissertation or academic paper. "IT HAS LONG BEEN KNOWN" ... I didn't look up the original reference. "A DEFINITE TREND IS EVIDENT" ... These data are practically meaningless. "WHILE IT HAS NOT BEEN POSSIBLE TO PROVIDE DEFINITE ANSWERS TO THE QUESTIONS" ... An unsuccessful experiment but I still hope to get it published. "THREE OF THE SAMPLES WERE CHOSEN FOR DETAILED STUDY" ... The other results didn't make any sense. "TYPICAL RESULTS ARE SHOWN" ... This is the prettiest graph. "THESE RESULTS WILL BE IN A SUBSEQUENT REPORT" ... I might get around to this sometime, if pushed/funded. "IN MY EXPERIENCE" ... Once. "IN CASE AFTER CASE" ... Twice. "IN A SERIES OF CASES" ... Thrice. "IT IS BELIEVED THAT" ... I think. "IT IS GENERALLY BELIEVED THAT" ... A couple of others think so, too. "CORRECT WITHIN AN ORDER OF MAGNITUDE" ... Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. "ACCORDING TO STATISTICAL ANALYSIS" ... Rumor has it. "A STATISTICALLY-ORIENTED PROJECTION OF THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THESE FINDINGS" ... A really wild guess. "A CAREFUL ANALYSIS OF OBTAINABLE DATA" ... Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a beer glass. "IT IS CLEAR THAT MUCH ADDITIONAL WORK WILL BE REQUIRED BEFORE A COMPLETE UNDERSTANDING OF THIS PHENOMENON OCCURS" ... I don't understand it ... and I never will. "AFTER ADDITIONAL STUDY BY MY COLLEAGUES" ... They don't understand it either. "A HIGHLY SIGNIFICANT AREA FOR EXPLORATORY STUDY" ... A totally useless topic selected by my committee. "IT IS HOPED THAT THIS STUDY WILL STIMULATE FURTHER INVESTIGATION IN THIS FIELD" ... I am pleased to feed you bulls---.