Newsletters March 2002 Welcome to the Barren Realms MUD newsletter for March 1, 2002! stop by and say hi, telnet://barren.coredcs.com:8000/ News from the Realms: Brinley: another body parts questDisclaimer: This is my first quest. If something isn't clear please ask me. There are thousands of mobs in Barren Realms. I only need you to locate twenty-six but in a specific order - the alphabet! I need a body part (head, heart, arm, or leg) whose original owner's name corresponds to each letter of the alphabet. An example: head of Alison for "A", leg of a boy for "B", arm of a dog for "D", heart of a cat for "C". If a mob has two names in its title I will accept the primary one(s). Arm of a small chipmunk is ok for "C" but not "S". Arm of a cute bird is ok for "B" only. Arm of Baaz Draconian is acceptable for "B" or "D" but NOT both. Arm of a hobgoblin flunky is ok for "H' or "F" but not both. All city guardsmen are "G." I will favor the main name in the mobs' title. If you submit a player's bodypart, the character must have been created before Fri. 22 Feb. You may NOT skip letters. You may not submit duplicate pieces. You can not use track, summon, teleport, or locate object. If you group all members will share one prize. The quest ends Sat. 2 Mar. I have one bag left if anyone will use it. All mortal characters are welcome to play. Huge thanks to the fearless and very patient sponsor AMystery!! If you have questions send me a tell or a note. Brinley. Scavenger: Code typos fixed. Just to let you know that we are actually doing something with the typos you guys and gals find, a bunch of code typos have been fixed. Highlights are "You feel less aware of your suroundings" is now "surroundings", "pouring rain and fierce lighting" is now "lightning", peck and headbutt don't always say "he blacked out!" instead of "she" or "it", a missed throw will now "piss off" the mob instead of "piss of", casting illusion shows "as if it were burning" rather than "was burning", wind "has blown" people off course instead of "has blow", weaponsmiths say "sword is probably stolen" rather than "sword probably stolen", linkkill social says "sever his own link" rather than "him own", linkkill also says "lose your connection" instead of "loose", and the "I" in "PUHLEESE! And i guess you want experience too!!!" is capitalized. Oh, and Violet's new "lurk" social has been added. I still have a few typos to correct. If you've reported it but it's not corrected yet, Kiri or I are probably getting to it soon. Thanks for reporting them. A few more fixes are in. The biggest one is that if you cast fly or levitate on someone who is already flying or levitating it now says, "Brainy Smurf is already flying" rather than "You're already flying". (That one's been bugging me for years...) In other news the layout of the first line of the config command has been cleaned up, berzerk refers to "God's rage" instead of "Gods rage", change sex uses "all its might" instead of "all it's might", and buddha finger now uses "all your power" instead of "all you power". *ponder* Actually, it looks like something strange happened and only some of these changes are in. Well, if they aren't in now, they'll be in soon. Keep looking for more. :) Thanks, y'all. Some of you may have noticed that mob names appeared pretty funny in some places. If someone made a charmed mob chat something and you typed CHATH, you would have seen some very strange names. Well, that's fixed now. The names should be the same in chath as they are in chat. (While I was messing around I also threw the ending period on the lines in chath.) In a slightly related bug, the shopkeepers' names are capitalized if they identify or repair items for you. A tiny bug but someone reported it so I fixed it. :) I'm running out. Report some more typos. ;-) These characters need to log in: Conner, Copper, Freida, Harek, Jam, Lafitus, Mathias, Mstyle, Nightwolf, Shinji, Tenchi, Tork, Unlogic IDEAS - please hit reply and answer these with your thoughts! Krill: shouldn't kender be able to lear track? FireLily: Can we have a 'neener' social that says "So-and-so runs around in circles screaming, "Neener, neener, neener!" at you" --Kiri-- sure, write it. Help writesocial and help socialex. Xorex: It would be cool if the #. commands worked for things like look or identify. eg. look 2.key to look at the second key in your inventory. Also, perhaps a way to deal with the ambiguity of looking at something in your inventory or in the room. Wasabe: I would like nested 'in' commands. example: look in bag in pack in ring ;) Bluewing: why not give create potion back to avians? --Kiri-- think about it, why can a giant bird create magical potions? Foy: could help miscellaneous be changed to 'help misc'? --kiri-- no, but it also comes up as "help other" Hugin: how can you drink stuff underwater? and why do you get thirsty underwater? Bluewing: As one of few illithids, I have always pondered why ac class, no matter how far negative, never seemed to have much of an impact. Well, I've discovered an idea how that I think might work. First off, do the mobs have a hitroll, and that number is added to your own ac class to see if they hit? If that isn't the case, I believe it should be unless some other more efficient, or programming I don't understand :P, exists already. Now, I Bluewing, am able to reduce my ac class to -540 or so which means mobs really shouldn't be hitting me that often. Unless of course mobs ~115 have hitrolls of 500 or higher which scares me if they do as us heros can't raise our own hitrolls that high on armor acquired in the mud at my level. Unfortunetly my plan had a hitch. If the ac fix occured, players would begin making illithids again for the sole purpose of a tank who couldn't be hit. However, I came up with a kind of antidote, well various possibilities that could possibly work. One idea is what I call "mental fatigue." Technically the illithids aren't mages but rather psionicists. Because of this, battle and using psionic power uses up mental prowess so every battle round "mental fatigue" could add some ac dependent on their level. The fatigue would then have a timer that the illithid would have to spend out of battle to have reduced. I envision "mental fatigue" to be an affect for illithids specifically. To counteract their own demise, perhaps a spell like "calm mind" which reduces time left on their fatigue at the cost of great expenditures of mana or perhaps movement. If it was possible maybe "calm mind" could replace vertigo as a web spell because vertigo doesn't work. Another possible solution I came up with to my super-ac dilemma is perhaps below -300 ac (the beginning of invincible) that mana costs be upped for all the illithid's spells. Perhaps 10 mana for every -50 ac under, that would make going below -300 ac a deterrent until the illithid "further developed his mental capacity" (enhance mana). And a third solution I came up with is instead of altering hitroll/ac interactions, for every 20-50 below -300, mental barrier's length of duration increases. Also, I was wondering why enhance armor was taken away from illithids. Granted ac class doesn't seem to do much but I think that it was a helpful ability much like enchant weapon. Perhaps enhance armor could cause the armor to become nodrop noremove whether the spell worked correctly or not. That would deter unscrupulous illithids to continually play hangman just to pass the enhanced armor. Ok, those are my ideas, I hope some have a semblance of suitability ;) Sincerely, Bluewing Please send more bios! I'm out! BLUEWING: > BIO: > 1. What piece of equipment would you most like to have irl and why? I would want to have my old ciquala sword, just so I'd have something menacing to put over my fireplace 2. if you could be any kind of M&M what kind would you be and why, also what color? I'd be an almond M&M 'cause they're rare for me to find; and, I'd be blue, I don't think that one deserves explanation. 3. What color is your toothbrush? White, blue and a little green 4. Do you have any pets? Nope, although I'd like a hamster or a kitten. 5. When's your birthday? June 19th, summer birthday :) 6. What is your favorite sport and favorite team sport? Hmm, Snowboarding is my favorite sport, and I guess football is my favorite team sport. 7. Who was the hero/imm who helped you when you first started BR? Polgara before her pfile kept corrupting 8. Which mob is your favorite? Definitely was chiapet, why it had a Zippo I'll never know 9. Who introduced you to the mud? Have you passed the favor on to anyone? I found BR by myself but I have since passed the favor on to various other people I've met throughout my years. 10. If you were an animal, what would you be? I would be a red panda, those things look way too cuddly to be real, and they're just too adorable to kill. 11. What significant events greatly affected your life? Going to high school has made me a different person, maybe college will do the same :P 12. What is your favorite area in the realms, and why? My favorite has to be Shar-Quin Village because no one goes there :P 13. What is the longest amount of time you have ever spent in one sitting on the realms? Perhaps a work day, 8-5 some time ago. 14. If you could go back in time to 1BC, what modern invention would you bestow on our primitive ancestors to make their lives better (hint - they didn't have electricity!) I'd give them a book, teach them how to read and write and see where civilization goes from there. 15. Given only a golf club, a shoe, some flypaper, sand and a cube - what would you make? (they will join with invisible and super-strong bindings in any way you wish) A doohickey, does anything you want it to. 16. what one thing would you change about the world? I would change our concerns over the enviroment, I think it's being largely ignored. 17. what one super power would you like to have. Flying without wings, like Superman. PLease find enclosed the results of the stupid cupid quest. Love D.K violet 31 cobalt 29 liubei 13 prodigy 5 kinson 4 cynic 3 eitri 1 altec 7 edan 6 lock 2 isis 1 myr 1 eldfell 1 luigi 1 garxo 1 ravenlock 1 pip 1 Kiri's WWW of URLS: This was really neat - it's the etymology (word history) of your name http://behindthename.com/ Have your name go to Mars http://spacekids.hq.nasa.gov/2003/nameform.cfm Do buttons at intersections work? Thanks Scav for this link http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3_153.html User Friendly http://userfriendly.org/ I apologize. Again, bad jokes. I can't find anything good lately. Diary of Escaped Cow in Cincinnati Day 1 Everyone completed their assignments and diversion went perfectly. Humans froze when we all rolled on our backs and began kicking wildly in the air. Not sure if I'm the only one to escape or not. Unable to contact the underground, they took my bell. Spent the night standing next to a Gateway Computer store. Day 2 Several near misses with authorities. Getting hungry. Now have green and blue spots after stumbling into a paintball game. No contact yet. Rolled in mud to avoid thermal detection. Day 3 Beginning to wonder where all of the vegetarian animal rights people are. Found food. Pressure building in udder. Must find a farmer soon. Spent the night in front of the Cincinnati Art Museum. Covered with mud and paint, they were clueless. Day 4 Found water and washed off. Overheard people talking while standing outside Wal-Mart. They have no idea where I am. Made $3.50 by shaking with little kids on my back. Need to find farm to spread the word not to get on the truck for the "hayride." Found perfect hiding place. Day 5 I still believe others made it out too. Either way, the rebellion is growing. Cold. Found food and water. Laying low. Spent all day posing on the Chick-fil-A billboard again. They don't suspect a thing. If I don't find a way to get milked soon I'll explode. Day 6 Soiled Chick-fil-A billboard, had to move on. Spent the day hiding in woods. Got mugged for my $3.50. Still no contact. Desperate now, difficult to walk due bloated udder. Unable to locate farmer, considering turning myself in at Trauth Dairy to relieve the pressure. Day 7 Followed farm smell and ended up at Cincinnati Zoo. Udder killing me. Under cover of darkness, broke in to petting zoo. Mobbed there by bizarre-looking hungry creatures. Bloated udder no longer an issue. Nobody there cared about my near miss with the slaughterhouse, kept asking if I had any chewing gum or candy. The lions were afraid of me because they didn't know what I was and a water buffalo was hitting on me. Got out of there before sunrise. Weird place. Caught out in the open by helicopter, thought it was over. Saved by freak hailstorm. Must keep mooving. Day 8 Staying close to park. Should be safe here now, no money left. Woke this morning with graffiti all over me. Must be more careful. Stood in Scarlet Oaks Retirement Community parking lot for a while to rest aching hooves. Bunch of white-haired humans hanging around, must be some sort of cult. One told me "freelance wranglers" are hunting me. Don't believe a word of it. They've hired mercenaries. People are running all over the park looking for me. They're so stupid. They don't know that when I close my eyes, no one can see me. Day 9 Almost run over this morning by panicked deer. Wanted to know why there are people with guns in the park. They couldn't understand why anyone would be interested in me because I'm "just a cow." City deer are snobs. Feel I may be losing my edge, nothing going as planned. Worked a kid's birthday party and made $5. Party ended shortly after I had an unexpected emission of stomach gas. Might be stress. Have to start eating better. Can't get this stupid birthday hat off my head. Day 10 Traded $5 and hat to white-hair cult for information. Can't trust anyone now. They've planted cow spies in the park. Heard they want to give me a key to the city. Won't do me any good. I don't have hands. Had secret meeting about my future with Marge Schott. Didn't like the way her dog was looking at me. Can't remember how this all started. Day 11 Got tipped last night, slept too sound. Must have been that pathetic little dart. Met with nervous Mayor, who worried Meat Packers Convention will pull out of Cincinnati over me. Like I care. Great food next to pen holding bovine traitors. Waited for guy with dart gun to fall asleep and had dinner. Day 11: The last night Ambushed late last night, they were everywhere. Managed to drag two of them all over the park. Think I could have taken them if it wasn't for that guy with the needle. Woke up hung over in strange barn this morning. Incarcerated. They tell me I'm getting amnesty. I don't believe them. Grandpa told me never to trust anything with two legs. Welcome to the Barren Realms MUD newsletter. Visit BR at telnet://barren.coredcs.com:8000/ NEWS FROM THE REALMS: Brinley: alphabet body parts quest results Thanks to everyone that participated! The turn out was twice what I expected. Thank you for making my first quest so successful. Results for level 0-25 players: First Place - Anoriel, Haldir, & Midgard. Second Place - Padawan. Third Place - Darque. Results for levels 26-50: First Place - Angeles, Edan, Greyshield, Haze, Hugin, Myr, Radicaled, Shiloh, & Zashcar. Second Place - Narva. If you gave me a bag of body parts and don't see your name contact me ASAP. Thank AMystery for the cool prizes. Brinley Scavenger: New Commands You may have seen my notes about the typo fixes or even the couple of small bugs I've squashed. But that isn't much fun. It's nothing really new, I hear you say. Well, I have heard your lamentations and I have acted upon them. It's no remort but I have added some things for you to play with. As of now, almost every channel has a history command. The complete list is: battleh, hackh, shouth, questionh, answerh, musich, questh, auctionh, and gratzh/cheerh. And I have added all the appropriate help files too. Okay, maybe not the most useful addition in the world but it's one that I've been wanting for a long time. Have fun playing with it, folks. Oh, and let me know if you see any problems with the new history commands. Oh, and one more thing. At Divebomb's suggestion I have modified the "point" social so it does something if you just type "point" by itself. Uncle Scavy Kiri: changes As of this last warmboot, Leelou's Arialis forest is in. You can find it connected to western woods and the circus. Also, Redferne's (the useless) is gone. Dylan's area is now up from "In the Air" - I changed the map to reflect this. Leelou's area is for 5-10. Thanks Divebomb and EB for their tireless help :) These players need to log in: Chanlaoshi, Conner, Dharka, Durin, Excelsior, Friscko, Ganelon, Gnash, Goldenfist, Hackenslash, Jam, Kalah, Luap, Mujahid, Obsidian, Othelo, Qaddar, Sarick, Twinkle, Vore, Wonka all need to log in! Apert: when you're too inexperienced to wear something, it should say "You must be level whatever to wear the bracers." or something, instead of just, you must be level 5 to use this, object Ashes: how about a spell to determine the spells on food and pills? AShton: maybe the social raise with a target should say you raise your eyebrows at them "in" question instead of at their question...that's how most people mean it anyway Tyndareus: how about a 'sip' command that would allow you to take in half as much alcohol, to shorten the drunkenness period? Xorex: Barren Realms needs more places that you can only get to by prayer Dio: when your drunk and in a room with a mob have your character think its something else, offend it, then get into a fight with it Odysseus: have a asterix on the skills that are oog for that race in slist Ashes: how about having potions that could be thrown at a target and that cast spells if they hit Mathis: is there a way for the count command to show how many characters have been deleted? Exo: I believe that since humans and kenders main attribute is dex, they need to have a spell to enhance it, get back to me please, note me, tell no BIO OF STARS: (SEND MORE! I'M OUT!) 1. What piece of equipment would you most like to have irl and why? Sword of the Order of the Supernova because it seems so unachievable. 2. if you could be any kind of M&M what kind would you be and why, also what color? I'd be one of the talking ones on the commercials just so I could be sentient. Probably green, even though it's too bright. 3. What color is your toothbrush? aqua blue, because my bathroom is blue 4. Do you have any pets? no, not unless you count what's in my fridge 5. When's your birthday? tomorrow ;) March 13. 6. What is your favorite sport and favorite team sport? favorite sport to play is tennis, and I like to watch football although I don't get to play it often 7. Who was the hero/imm who helped you when you first started BR? I don't think anyone helped me when I started. I came from Farside over to BR when it first started. 8. Which mob is your favorite? I really don't know.... 9. Who introduced you to the mud? Have you passed the favor on to anyone? Most likely Scavenger and Ram and those guys introduced me. I introduced a few people but I don't think they play anymore. 10. If you were an animal, what would you be? I am an animal. 11. What significant events greatly affected your life? There's been so many... Joshua and Nicholas are the *greatest* events that affected my life. 12. What is your favorite area in the realms, and why? They're all just so darn good.. 'course I tend to think of areas in terms of how much they benefit me for exp or items, not so much for the writing. 13. What is the longest amount of time you have ever spent in one sitting on the realms? 8 hours? I'm not sure 14. If you could go back in time to 1BC, what modern invention would you bestow on our primitive ancestors to make their lives better (hint - they didn't have electricity!) Some recording device to capture the words and miracles of Christ. 15. Given only a golf club, a shoe, some flypaper, sand and a cube - what would you make? (they will join with invisible and super-strong bindings in any way you wish) I would make the all-powerful-press-this-button-and-you-will-rule-the-universe device! And it makes a good slushie too. 16. what one thing would you change about the world? I would make everybody happy. 17. what one super power would you like to have. Omniscience I'm completely out of responses, so feel free to hit reply and send me your thoughts on this week's ideas. Kiri's WWW of URLs: Watch the world, live! http://www.earthcam.com/ Dogs and people. You decide! http://www.evangel.edu/People/greere/Humor/ILookLikeMyDog/index.asp When it appears that you have killed the monster, never check to see if it's really dead. If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetery, was once a church that was used for black masses, had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed necrophilia or satanic practices in your house move away immediately. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has just gone out. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, or if they speak to you using a voice which is other than their own, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. NOTE: It will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared. When you have the benefit of numbers, never pair off and go it alone. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell. Never stand in, on, above, below, beside, or anywhere near a grave, tomb, crypt, mausoleum, or other house of the dead. If you're searching for something which caused a noise and find out that it's just the cat, leave the room immediately if you value your life. If appliances start operating by themselves, move out. Do not take anything from the dead. If you find a town which looks deserted, it's probably for a reason. Take the hint and stay away. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you are doing. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, get away from them as fast as possible. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (God help you if you recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine. If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help. Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any device made from deceased companions. Listen closely to the soundtrack, and pay attention to the audience, since they are usually far more intelligent than you could ever hope to be. Welcome to the March 21, 2002 newsletter! Come visit BR at telnet://barren.coredcs.com:8000/ News from the Realms: Leiland: Percivale's quest OK, I still have 3 level 1-10 range prizes to give out, and since I dont know alternate characters I figured I'd better just make this a note to all. If you have the characters Cozmo, Starangel, or Joriel, please contact me. Thank you! -Leiland Kiri: typos for the month After fixing 8 pages worth of typos, I lost all my work. Long story, and it's not a happy one. Basically, you guys will have to wait a week more to see the corrected typos, but the winner was Hugin with 102 typos. Please see me for your prize, and thanks everyone for contributing! Kiri: book I *finally*, after years of hunting, found the book that has our old opening screen and a whole page on us in it. It's called "Internet Virtual Worlds Quick Tour: Muds, Moos and Mushes, Interactive Games, Conferences and Forums" by Sean Carton on Ventana Press. Copyright 1995. This is what they say about us: "To enter Barren Realms is to enter a raucous, freewheeling land populated with fantastic creatures and bizarre places. The air of Barren Realms reverberates with the feeling that just about anything can happen, and it usually does. New characters can choose to be any one of 5 different races, so you can be sure that your interactions with others will be anything but mundane. You'll never get bored adventuring on Barren Realms." Acob: My first quest Well it turned out well for my first quest. The winners were Tribe in first, Flux in second, and Tsunamis in third. It had a good show out . Thanks to the people who perticipated. And i hope this isint my last quest the prizes were donated by Acob, Rennur, And Boca.. THanks Guys Again THx For perticipating in the quest special thx to our imm who sponsord it IDEAS: Mathis: is there a way for the count command to show how many characters have been deleted? Exo: I believe that since humans and kenders main attribute is dex, they need to have a spell to enhance it, get back to me please, note me, tell no Padawan: let us poor dwarves be ale to scan through rain/bad weather. :) DevilsAngel: I just thought it would be a cool idea to add the current Imm's who play BR to the spellcaster's spells. Or even add them to the Sac rewards. I would love to see both actually. *smiles* Dev Xorex: Heroes should be able to prayer out of cursed rooms Xorex: I was looking at the old ideas and there was a request for all the helpfiles to be put in a text file on the website...it seemed like a good and useful suggestion Shiloh: to make word of recall used more often allow it to make u recall when u are in a cursed area Xorex: Weapons that have bonuses or drawbacks against certain kinds of mobs...it could maybe make people use more weapons and strategy Rundin: a prac ig and a prac oog, that way I can see my in-guild and out of guild skills/spells, and alphabetized would be nice too. Dwimmerlaik: you should have a 'movie' channel, like the music channel. Would be cool to quip movie quotes randomly AMystery: there needs to be a way to sort the who list by ascending or descending level. for example, who 30 50 + would list everyone on from level 30 to 50 in ascending order, not order of login Sgetsuo: The idea is kind of for the newsletter. I think it has been done before, in a way, but it's a good-un and would add a bit to the weekly read if it pans out. It's a chain-story basically. I would supply the intro, probably concerning a quest in the Realms, and other people would supply sections on a weekly basis (I was thinking maybe you'd do the second part ;> ). If it sounds ok I'll work on it at the weekend and give you whatever drivel I manage to spew (substitute "drivel" for "work of genius" and "spew" for "form from the raw clay of the English language"). I think didn't Dove or someone do it last time? Seem to remember the interest was there... BIO: Cobalt 1. What piece of equipment would you most like to have irl and why? * A cloak or item of jewelry that casts invisibility, so I could go anywhere I wanted unnoticed/unhindered. 2. If you could be any kind of M&M what kind would you be and why, also what color? * A blue peanut butter M&M, pb because that's the favorite of the person whose mouth I'd want to melt in. 3. What color is your toothbrush? * Purple and white. 4. Do you have any pets? * A Siamese cat named Myst. 5. When's your birthday? * August 15 6. What is your favorite sport and favorite team? * Sport: snail racing, team: Speedy Shells. 7. Who was the hero/imm who helped you when you first started BR? * Reykjavik. 8. Which mob is your favorite? * I really can't pick even a few here.. there are too many really good ones. 9. Who introduced you to the mud? Have you passed the favor on to anyone? * Fields, and yes, I've suggested it to a few other roleplay and online-game fans. I don't know if any have dropped in. 10. If you were an animal, what would you be? * One of the giant cats. (Anyone surprised? No? Didn't think so.) 11. What significant events greatly affected your life? * Too many to put into a brief list. 12. What is your favorite area in the realms, and why? * Castle in the Clouds because it's so funny, and BR Museum because it has so much to explore and learn (and I love natural history museums). 13. What is the longest amount of time you have ever spent in one sitting on the realms? * 15 or 16 hours, actively. 14. If you could go back in time to 1BC, what modern invention would you bestow on our primitive ancestors to make their lives better? * Medicine.. antibiotics, immunizations/vaccinations, etc. 15. Given only a golf club, a shoe, some flypaper, sand and a cube - what would you make? * A little Zen garden.. put the sand in the shoe, groom the sand with the golf club, place the cube in a good spot in the sand to stimulate peaceful meditation, and use the flypaper to stick the sole of the shoe to something stable. 16. What one thing would you change about the world? * I would make everyone very empathic. 17. What one super power would you like to have? * Flight. Kiri's WWW of URLs: From Sgetsuo: I was checking the Earthcam you linked to in the last newsletter (the London one is particularly dull, unless you like traffic) and whilst marvelling at the wonders of the Hollywood sign I noticed it had it's own web site www.hollywoodsign.org ). Hmm. Well, yes it does. And, um, wow? Or...what?? The highlight of this particularly astounding piece of design is the "See the Hollywood Sign from Space", proudly displayed on the front page. "See what the Hollywood Sign looks like to the real stars" it proclaims! Well, the sign isn't the Great Wall of China, and you can't see it from space. Proved beyond doubt (there was doubt?) by this site, whilst still managing to somehow - and without actually saying it directly - say that you can indeed see this sign from space. Stuff like this just amazes me, that's all. Simpson's personality test: http://www.vista-ray.com/~matt/simpsons/index.htm Lovetron 5000 http://www.iamlost.com/features/lovetron/ Way of the Exploding Stick http://www.evolver.co.uk/wayofthestick.html HOW DO YOU GET HOLY WATER? You boil the hell out of it. WHAT DO FISH SAY WHEN THEY HIT A CONCRETE WALL? Dam! WHAT DO ESKIMOS GET FROM SITTING ON THE ICE TOO LONG? Polaroids. WHAT DO YOU CALL A BOOMERANG THAT DOESN'T WORK? A stick. WHAT DO YOU CALL CHEESE THAT ISN'T YOURS? Nacho Cheese. WHAT DO YOU CALL SANTA'S HELPERS? Subordinate Clauses. WHAT DO YOU CALL FOUR BULLFIGHTERS IN QUICKSAND? Quattro Sinko. WHAT DO YOU GET FROM A PAMPERED COW? Spoiled milk. WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A SNOWMAN WITH A VAMPIRE? Frostbite. WHAT LIES AT THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN AND TWITCHES? A nervous wreck. WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ROAST BEEF AND PEA SOUP? Anyone can roast beef. WHERE DO YOU FIND A DOG WITH NO LEGS? Right where you left him. WHY DO GORILLAS HAVE BIG NOSTRILS? Because they have big fingers. WHY DON'T BLIND PEOPLE LIKE TO SKY DIVE? Because it scares the hell out of the dog. WHAT KIND OF COFFEE WAS SERVED ON THE TITANIC? Sanka. WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A HARLEY AND A HOOVER? The location of the dirt bag. WHY DO A PILGRIM'S PANTS ALWAYS FALL DOWN? Because he's wearing his belt buckle on his hat. WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BAD GOLFER AND A BAD SKYDIVER? A bad golfer goes whack, "damn." A bad skydiver goes "damn," whack. HOW DO YOU CATCH A UNIQUE RABBIT? Unique up on it. HOW DO YOU CATCH A TAME RABBIT? Tame way, unique up on it. WHAT DO YOU CALL SKYDIVING LAWYERS? Skeet. WHAT GOES CLOP, CLOP, CLOP, BANG, BANG, CLOP, CLOP, CLOP? An Amish Drive-By Shooting. HOW ARE A TEXAS TORNADO AND A TENNESSEE DIVORCE THE SAME? Somebody's gonna lose a trailer.